Thank You for Taking Care of Me

From our first day together to our last, I promised I would take care of you, and I did. And you took care of me.

That’s how we rolled for 12 years. You and me. Me and you. There were many others that shared in our journey together, and I’m grateful to all of them for the love they showed you. For seeing you for what you were, a shining light of love and patience and peace and hair. Lots and lots of hair.

It makes me laugh a little to think of all the places your hair is strewn all over this country. From friends’ couches you snuggled up on to rivers we paddleboarded down to desert canyons we hiked through to mountains that we camped on. All along thousands and thousands of miles of interstates we’ve driven together and in every nook and cranny of every vehicle I’ve owned and in every bed I’ve slept in.

I used to say I was going to start a new blog about our adventures called Dog Hair and Desert Dust because that summed up so many years of our lives together. I never did that, but I still believe that having my life and car and gear and heart covered in the red dust of Utah canyons and the ridiculously long hair from your tail was always a sign that I was doing life just right.

I always said I’d take care of you, and I did. I used to love driving down the road in the van with you sitting in the passenger seat beside me (which was quite the sight for those we passed on the highway!) with your nose squished right up to the vent taking in all of the scents from the air coming in from whatever part of the country we were cruising through. I’d think to myself, “Gosh, this dog has seen and smelled more of this country than most adults ever will!” I know you felt that as the gift that I intended it to be.

I always knew you’d take care of me, and you did. Just like you were there for the good days, you were also there for the heartbreak and loss and change and fear and grief and loneliness. I’ve cried more tears into your soft hair than I’ve cried on any shoulder, and that’s a gift that I’ll always be grateful for.

I used to get mad when people would say, “When it’s time to let him go, you’ll know.” I’d think to myself that they were wrong. There’s no way I’d just know. It turns out that I should just listen more because they were right. I woke up a few days ago and I did know. I knew that no matter how hard it would be, that I had promised I’d always take care of you, and taking care of you meant saying good-bye. It’s my last gift to you, my boy. My Chewbacca. My ChewChew. My Chewster. My ChewCheePooPoo. My Watermelon Sugar. My heart. My love.

From our first day together to our last, thank you for taking care of me.

(click here to watch Chewy’s Video and see all of his adventures)