Back from Somewhere I Never Should've Been

I just came back from somewhere

That I never should have been

What started as an adventure

A quest to find future spots to park

To live in a van

Down by a river, as people like to say

Turned into a journey to find my way back

To retrace turns taken moments before

Yet already forgotten

To once again see the familiar rock tower

The tower I made a mental note of

When I turned the nose of the truck down a tiny dirt road in search of the canyon rim

But then came the choice to try a different route back

A route that wasn’t a route

And then a search for a route

And instead a long, rocky road

A road that tested my choices, my driving, my truck

Turn after turn

Rolling slickrock

Ledges and rock ramps to conquer and then descend

My emotions rising and falling along with the truck tires

One moment confident

The next full of doubt

Why did I do this

Why did I come here alone

Why did I think this was smart

Why did I laugh as I drove past that dirt biker instead telling him I was lost

How long before I get stuck

How far will I have to walk out

Turn after turn, doubt after doubt

But then I made it back

Back to that tower

Back to camp

To the greetings of old friends

To the sun finally breaking through the clouds

And I know why

Because I knew I could